Scheduling

Most manufacturing facilities schedule employees according to production needs. Our facility is no different. We have an on site lab testing our product (food safe quality control). We recently changed their schedule, and all of 7 lab techs were given different hours. We gave them 2 weeks notice.
I've had 3 of the 7 in the office crying and complaining about the schedule change. 
I was very close to telling them "Does my facial expression show I give a fuck?"
Be glad you have a job! A decent paying one!
Please make the stupid people shut up ....
Is it Friday yet??? FML.

"I Quit"

This morning I found a receipt taped to the time clock. 
It had this written on it:
"Jake W quits. Found other job".
Really? You can't even call or just come to my office and tell me? You write it on a receipt?
WTF is wrong with people??

Unemployment Rating

Well shit ... my unemployment rating went from 0.8 to 1.3. Iowa Unemployment sucks! Cases I should win I don't, and cases I shouldn't win I do. 
Can't fire someone because they suck at their job or unemployment says pay them. THEY SUCK AT THEIR JOB, I should be able to fire them. Iowa YOU SUCK.

W2's

If I get asked one more time today about W2's, I'm gonna snap and start stabbing m'fers.
I have until the 31st! Stop.Bothering.Me.

No Call No Show

How hard is it to call in to work when you are going to be absent? Is it really that hard? 
"Uh yea, I'm sick, can't come in today" ... is really all it takes.
It's not like the supervisors are going to ask "are you running a fever? are you vomiting? did you see a doctor". We don't care how sick you are, just call and tell us! For fuck sake!

I have this issue weekly ...

Absences

Ask yourself this ... how many times in a month do you call into work? If its more than twice, STOP CALLING IN.

Our policy states, an employee is allowed two occurrences in a month. This means if you leave early or call in sick, it counts as an occurrence. If you rack up 3 occurrences in a month you get to visit ME in my office and receive a written corrective action. Not a hard policy to follow, right?

Wrong! 

I hear this all the time ... "I wasn't gone 3 times this month".

Here you go dumb-ass, your absentee reports filled out by your supervisor, proving you were absent. And here is your corrective action. Now fuck off. 

Thank fuck it's Friday ... it's been a LONG week.

Can't fix stupid ...

I wrote an employee up about 7 weeks ago. The write up was for creating drama in her department, gossiping while she was supposed to be working, and for throwing herself on the floor and curling up because she was "stressed out". The write up ... a written corrective action for inappropriate workplace conduct.
This employees comes to me, today, 7 weeks later, and wants to talk about the write up.
I'm curious, so why the fuck not, let's talk about it ...
She says to me "it never happened. I never curled up in a ball on the floor".
I should tell you that we have over 50 cameras in the factory, and 3 of them are in her department.
So I ask her why she didn't say something the day of the write up or even a few days later. I ask her why now? But before she can respond, I remind her of the 50 cameras in the factory.
She says again "it never happened".
She then says to me "you hate me and you want me gone".
I'm naturally sarcastic and doing my job doesn't allow for me to be sarcastic ... but this time ... I couldn't help it!
I tell her ... well then someone must have hacked our camera system and inserted you into it, frame by frame, to frame you! Whatever should we do?!
She didn't seem amused ...

Working in HR ... in a Factory ... in the middle of no where Town

I've been working at this factory for 3 years now. In 3 years I've never dealt with so much drama, bullshit, lying, crying, and utter fucked-up-ness in my life.
We have 60ish employees, all ranging in age, size, color, creed, sex, and my favorite - sexual orientation. Not only am I'm the Human Resources Coordinator, but I'm also an outed lesbian ... or as the minions call me, the mean lesbian bitch upstairs (my office is located above the factory).
I feel like I'm the principle of a high school.
What can't these employees bitch about!
I decided to start this blog as a way to vent. I'm certain my girlfriend is tired of hearing about all the office bullshit I deal with. I'm hoping people find this blog amusing, because let's be honest, the shit I have to deal with everyday has to be entertaining for someone!